April 26, 2023 - 5 Iyar 5783
"מַֽעֲנֶה־רַ֖ךְ יָשִׁ֣יב חֵמָ֑ה וּדְבַר־עֶ֜֗צֶב יַעֲלֶה־אָֽף."
The pshat (plain reading) of this verse seems to describe the ideal method of dealing with conflict between two people; responding to an angry or tense person in a soothing manner often works wonders in causing the angry party to calm down.
However, this same method can be applied when one's yetzer hara (evil inclination) becomes agitated, such as when one when is faced with a particular temptation. For example, imagine that you're tired and have to go to sleep, but have not brushed your teeth yet. Your body tells you, "Go to sleep now, you can miss a day of brushing your teeth," but you know very well that you shouldn't.
You can deal with this conflict of interests in one of two ways. The first is to ignore your body's urge for immediate sleep, and the second is to acknowledge its calling, but to continue with brushing your teeth anyway.
In the first instance you may find that trying to fend off your body's desire for slumber backfires and actually strengthens its resolve. Ignoring it actually intensifies it. In the second instance, however, simply acknowledging your body's desire often (without giving in to it) has the same effect as responding to an angry person in a calm manner, weakening its resolve to exert its influence. Treating your body's desire with respect often diminishes its hold on you, allowing you to act in the prescribed manner. To the contrary, "a distressing word stirs up anger," fighting against it amplifies it, reducing your chances of success against it.
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